Warriors & Weasels Blog

Moving To A Fancier Neighborhood!

I'm pleased to announce that that I am taking a big step up in the blogosphere - and going forward you will find my ponitifications, observations, rants, crass commercial appeals, and other random thoughts at www.thebizzylife.com - the place for people that live their work.

I think you will find thebizzylife to be much fancier digs.....  lovely graphics, better navigation and content, insightful profiles of facinating people, homemade pasta recipes, tips on how to hire a butler, nude photos of French people.....  it's all there!

Hope to see you in my new home!

Why Continental Airlines (And A Few Others) Should Go Bankrupt

Lets assume you are a budding entrepreneur, and you decide to open a lemonade stand.  You find a good recipe that people like, and you greet your customers with a smile and good service.  And business is good.  Perhaps because of global warming people are thirsty – but the fact is that you are busy.  And soon competitors open lemonade stands too – but there is plenty of business for all of you.  In fact, you are all so busy that you cannot keep up with demand.  People are lined up to buy everyone’s lemonade, and it is difficult for all of you to serve everyone.  You have more demand than capacity – and you don’t really want to expand capacity – so what do you do?

Well, business 101 would tell you to raise your prices.  Determine the price elasticity of your product.  What is the highest price you can charge while still selling the maximum amount of your product, while still maintaining the quality and customer service that has made your lemonade stand so popular?

Here is what you probably would not do unless you are insane or crave failure.  Lower your prices until you were losing money on every glass of lemonade you sell.  Your low prices bring in more money-losing business – and soon you have lines of dissatisfied, thirsty customers.  You begin to scream at them to “shut up and quit complaining” about the long lines.  Since you are losing money you change your recipe to lower costs and begin to use an inferior grade of lemonade mix that is manufactured in a Chinese factory with questionable hygienic practices. Instead of using good clean tap water to make your product, you make a deal with a local sewage treatment plant to buy “recycled water” at a discount. You implement a policy of charging customers separately for the cup that holds their lemonade.  A few customers get sick, many complain about your business practices, but instead of improving your process and addressing the complaints you initially blame the terrorist attacks of 9/11 for your business issues (“I just haven’t been able to concentrate on making good lemonade since those pesky terrorists came here”, you lament.) After a few years when that excuse runs thin, you blame the high cost of lemonade mix.  And then you go bankrupt.

OK – I realize running an airline is much more complicated than operating a lemonade stand, but they both do share the same business foundation; provide a good product at a price that allows you to make a profit while still in reach of your consumer, and offer customer service commensurate with your price and brand.

The last few weeks have been a tough time for many airlines.  Many smaller operators have gone bankrupt.  Several of the majors are bleeding money fast due to their lapsed maintenance policies. And the consumer continues to pay the price.

As a very frequent flyer (I hold Gold or Platinum status on five airlines, and have flown almost two million miles on Delta) I am perhaps not the most sympathetic one to the plight of the airlines.  The last few years have been miserable for flyers on most airlines.  Flights are packed.  Service is terrible.  The planes are often filthy and not properly maintained.  Airlines charge extra for substandard food.  And perhaps the worst aspect is the complete lack of customer service.  Since 9/11 airlines have plied on our sympathy, and frequently used the disaster as an excuse for their poor management.  Airline employees are often unabashed in their distaste for passengers and customer service.

Two weeks ago I witnessed three Continental employees joyfully abuse a passenger until she was in tears.  They lied about laws governing airline travel, refused to offer any reasonable level of service, and when I threatened to report one of the employees she took off her badge and hid it in her pocket in an attempt to withhold her identity.  When I later complained to Continental management, they offered a lame apology, but primarily offered inane excuses and quoted policy to avoid taking any responsibility.  It was clear to me that their obvious antagonism for their customers came from the top down.

None of this has made any sense.  With flights packed, how is it that airlines don’t make money?  I don’t know of any other business that operates at capacity and still fails.  Of course now they blame fuel costs.  But why not raise rates to reflect higher costs?

Most airlines miss the basic opportunity of business.  The very lowest price is not the only available market.  Not all of us eat every meal at McDonalds or stay at the Super 8.   Most frequent flyers would happily pay more for a better experience.  I am a big fan of Alaska Airlines, and will happily pay more to fly their airline if the schedule even remotely works for me.   I want a clean, roomy, well-maintained plane that lands on time, decent food, and my bags delivered in a timely fashion.  I want good customer service that recognizes my rights as a passenger and a human being.  I don’t really want to fly with a plane load of families heading to Disneyland that the airline is losing money on because they sold them tickets at 1/3rd what I paid.

Airlines have only themselves to blame for the price pressure they battle.  And when most of them opt to lose money to stay full, it impacts the really good airlines that attempt to maintain a brand but get sucked into a price war.  Perhaps these financial problems with the airlines will flush out some of the mediocrity, and make them operate smarter and with more regard for their customers.

Could Gene Simmons & Marilu Henner Run Your Company?

OK – here’s my “junk TV” admission (actually I have several – but this one is a little less embarrassing than some of the others).  I am a fan of The Apprentice – and I must admit I am more than a little hooked on Celebrity Apprentice – although it should rightfully be called “A Few Minor Celebrities That Haven’t Worked Lately And A Bunch Of People You’ve Never Heard Of Apprentice”.  Donald Trump is on the verge of creating a new “Loveboat” – and every actor who hasn’t been employed since Tony Danza was in prime-time must be rooting for his success!

But misnomers and casting difficulties aside, the show is decent junk food with a sprinkling of real business mixed in.  And as much as I dislike his hair and ties, I have to admit I like the way Donald handles this faux business.  He always seems to conclude an episode with sound decisions, and I like the way he drills to the core of the issue without hesitation.  While The Apprentice might be based on silly business premises and ridiculous contrived drama, every week I see a spark of realism in the show.  It is a classic illustration of Warriors, Workers, Whiners, & Weasels – and the difficulties involved in managing and optimizing employees that fall into different categories. 

For the show – and a business – to work, you need at least one Warrior leading the way. On The Apprentice, they try to cast three or four to create dissension, which is not unlike what happens in a real business if you have too many Warriors that aren’t managed properly.

To complete the tasks and win you need Workers carrying out the duties with enthusiasm and competence – and on the show they manage to seed the teams with a few of them. 

To create drama on the series (which is unfortunately what often happens in the workplace) – you need Whiners and Weasels.  And unlike in a real workplace, on The Apprentice, Weasels reveal themselves rather quickly. 

In business the ultimate goal is the success of the organization. On The Apprentice the goal is the success of one individual (which creates a Weasel-friendly environment).  But the show becomes a great illustration of the importance of managing towards an organizational goal, as opposed to creating incentives that create conflict in the company and drive people to make decisions based on their own welfare.

Of course, most of us will never face the difficulties of managing old rock stars or heavyweight boxers, but The Apprentice is a good reminder of the importance of building the right team with a solid goal and organizational structure.

Why Does Netflix Hate Their Best Customers?

Lately I’ve been feeling a little like a jilted lover in my relationship with Netflix.  I’ve adored this company since joining during their infancy over seven years ago.  I love efficient websites that really make my life easier and more fun – and Netflix has always been at the top of my list. Before they became a household name I was constantly singing their praises – especially to other frequent flyers that were very curious about the DVDs in the little red envelopes I carried.  I suspect over the years I have talked dozens of people into joining, and it was no surprise to me to see the company become so successful.

But apparently Netflix does not share the same affection towards me.   A couple months ago I began to fear I had been placed on the dreaded “slow ship” list.  I heard the rumor that customers that rented too frequently were sometimes forced “down the queue” on new releases so new members could receive movies more quickly, but I had not personally experienced the phenomenon.  Suddenly several new films on my list showed “VERY LONG WAIT”, and instead of sending me “Sicko” that I really want to see – Netflix dug deeply into my list to instead mail an old Adam Sandler comedy I had stuck at the bottom of my queue during some serious lapse in entertainment judgment. (My advice, don’t drink and pick movies at the same time!) 

None of this made any sense to me.  While I could appreciate the fact that Netflix wanted new customers to be happy so they remain customers, why wouldn’t they especially love the client that had stayed with them for over seven years, spending between $180 and $300 per year while singing their praises?  Netflix is essentially a direct response company – something I know quite a bit about – and their business model is really rather simple: Cost Per Acquisition – Average Sale – Lifetime Valuation.  They had already acquired me, I helped them acquire many others at no cost to them, and I was a high average sale with a terrific lifetime valuation.  So why did Netflix hate me?

To find out I first sent an e mail to their customer service address.  A day later I received a polite reply thanking me for my e mail, but also informing me that due to the large volume of customer service e mails they receive, I would most likely not hear from them.  I had to wonder why they even offered the option of emailing customer service if they had no intention of answering me.  It seems more like an anti-customer policy.

Next I called their customer service line, and was able to speak to a representative who seemed quite familiar with my complaint.  I anticipated they would look at our long-standing relationship, offer an apology, and put my account back on the “fast ship”.  Instead, the somewhat irritable operator informed me that “we have no obligation to send you any particular movie – we just have to send you movies”.  When I inquired what “VERY LONG WAIT” actually meant, he said I could probably expect the movie to ship in around fifty days. “Fifty days”, I exclaimed, “by then I will have Tivo’d this off HBO!”

“Read your terms and conditions, and if you don’t like it I can cancel your account”, he flatly replied.  Wow Netflix, it hurts to be dumped so rudely by someone you loved so much.

Just to make sure I was not misreading the situation (perhaps there was a strange worldwide run on Michael Moore’s latest film and Netflix legitimately could not send me one), I opened a new account for my wife and put my three most desired but “VERY LONG WAIT” films on her list.  Much to my surprise they were all immediately available to ship, and 24 hours later “Sicko” was waiting in my mailbox.

Since then I did a little additional research, and discovered that the blogosphere is filled with other spurned Netflix lovers.  In fact, there are websites devoted to complaining about Netflix’s practices, which the critics call “throttling”.  I am certain that the number crunchers at Netflix have some financial justification for their actions, but a successful brand is much more than optimizing numbers.  And in this Web 2.0 time, companies have to be particularly sensitive towards their customer service policies.  I also know that it is always bad business to blatantly discard your most devoted customers – even if they do rent a few more movies a month than the average member.

And while I am sad that Netflix doesn’t love me anymore, I’m not going to let it haunt me. I might just have to exchange those red envelopes for yellow ones.  Hey Blockbuster, interested in a long-term relationship with a very faithful movie lover?

Four Great Ways to Ruin Your Career!

A few days ago we had to fire someone.  Of course, this is never a pleasant or easy task, but it is particularly difficult when you have to terminate an employee that had great potential, but ultimately chose to implode their own career.  It got me thinking about how many otherwise talented employees I have had over the years that insisted upon being their own worst enemy.  Despite repeated warnings, they persisted in what was often silly workplace behavior that sometimes ended their careers for all the wrong reasons.  Here are a few surefire ways to really screw up your career:

1.      Allow your personal problems to dominate your work performance.  Sure – we all go though ups and downs, and sometimes our work will suffer as a result.  But some individuals seem to think it is the company’s never-ending responsibility to support them through constant depressions, addictions, trials, and tribulations.  It isn’t.  The company owes you reasonable understanding and time off to deal with personal issues – but your problems do not belong to the company – and you need to deal with them outside of the workplace.  Here’s another hint – we can all hear that angry call you are having with your ex – or your kid – or your landlord – and it isn’t improving anyone’s work performance.

2.      Date your co-workers. OK – I know – we work hard and it is just natural to end up dating people we work with.  And I admit that I have done it. In fact, I met my wife in the industry. But go into it forewarned – it can be career suicide. I’ve seen it play out badly a few different ways. Of course, there is the constant threat of sexual harassment suits that can bring down on the company. Getting the company involved in a million dollar suit because you had one too many martinis with the receptionist seldom leads to a promotion.  But perhaps more common is the turbulence it causes in the organization when you break-up. Perhaps you are depressed and can’t work – or they are angry and set your desk on fire – but either scenario is not good.  And even when you get along it can be bad for the organization.  I had a situation last year with two dating employees showing favoritism to each other that disrupted their entire department.

3.      Don’t give notice when you leave.  Here is a real personal pet peeve of mine.  I understand if you get a great new job and need to leave, I even understand if you really hate your job and decide it is time to move on. But unless you have been working in a horrible abusive sweatshop - you owe the company and your co-workers at least two weeks notice before you leave. (Actually, even if you do work in a sweatshop you will be the bigger person if you give notice.) Of course the company may prefer that you leave right away when you give notice (and they should compensate you accordingly), but an employee that just takes off puts the company and their co-workers in a lurch.  And it is a particularly stupid move – as it assures you can never use that job as a reference.

4.      Allow your spouse / loved one / best friend to determine your work attitude and / or negotiate on your behalf.  Many years ago one of my employees had their wife come in to attempt to negotiate a raise.  It did not go well for either of them.  Every now and then, a spouse will approach me in the office or at a company function – and attempt to negotiate or push for a promotion for their husband or wife.  Always a bad idea! And perhaps most commonly, I will run into situations where turbulence is obviously being created not by the employee – but by someone influencing them.  I have had situations where otherwise happy employees were convinced they were miserable by a new spouse or friend – and their performance plummets.  Fight your own battles – only you really know how you feel about your job.

Guidelines For Corporate Santas

Knick-knacks covered with your logo are not Christmas gifts; they are shameless attempts to turn your clients into billboards. The rule here – logos on gifts must be tasteful and discreet. I might like your company, and I like cufflinks, but unless I am the CEO of your company I really don’t want your logo on my sleeve. If you go to the expense of buying leather Coach coasters and must have your logo on them, make it small and elegant so I feel good about putting them on my table. (A caveat to this rule. If you are Prada, Nike, Gucci, or Bentley – feel free to give me anything you want with your logo anywhere you want.)

Don’t give me knock offs. A few years ago a company sent me what was obviously a 42^nd Street rendition of a Mont Blanc pen that they represented as authentic. When I tried to use the pen it exploded and my middle finger was blue for three days (making the gesture I made at the pen and its giver all the more dramatic). I would rather have a nice ten dollar pen that works as opposed to a “pretend two hundred dollar” pen that doesn’t.

Don’t send delicate items unless you are willing to make a big investment in packaging. A supplier sent me a beautiful Japanese tea set a couple years ago that arrived in three inch shards. It took extensive forensic reconstructive work to determine what they had sent so I could pretend it arrived in one piece. Artwork is subjective and potentially a risky gift, unless it is so classic and timeless (think Bauhaus mugs) that you could not go wrong.

While I applaud charitable donations, I don’t know if it is technically a gift to me when you make a donation and tell me about it – unless of course you are actually forwarding the tax deduction. Don’t forget to send out thank you cards for every gift, regardless of your rank in the organization or the relative insignificance of the gift. Despite the fact that corporate Christmas gifts can sometimes seem shallow, but there are people behind them that took time and effort to get them to you. And don’t be a Bah Humbug gift recipient. Several years ago a client at one of the television studios called me to actually complain about his gift. We had sent out special edition Pendleton blankets, and he wanted to “trade his in” for another gift, as “it never gets cold enough in LA to warrant a blanket”. Good and bad manners are always noticed and noted. The best corporate Christmas gift is something everyone uses a few times a year, and you don’t mind receiving even if you already own one.

A few suggestions; interesting tool sets you can keep in your house or car, corkscrews, ice buckets, wine glasses. One year someone gave me a really nice hammer that I use all the time.One of the best gifts I ever received came from The Discovery Network. They gave me a beautiful robe that I wore for several years, and I didn’t even mind the small logo on the pocket. I liked the idea so much I copied it – and put our small logo on the sleeve – so you could roll up the cuffs if you didn’t want to see it. 

Do make sure the gift works before you send it out. Several years ago I gave Johnny Carson a portable DVD player at Christmas to celebrate our release of his new DVD set. This was early in the days of DVD players when there were compatibility issues, and unfortunately the player would not play his DVDs, leaving Johnny to wonder whether we bought him a cheap DVD player or screwed up his DVDs. New technologies have been the most popular “big gift” we give out, and I love to be able to give a great gift that also makes a statement about the company without being offensive. Last year we gave major clients video iPods with our latest work downloaded.

But great gifts don’t need to be complex or expensive. A few years ago I received a terrific metal travel mug and a pound of good coffee. The coffee is long gone but I use the mug every day. Though food baskets are not particularly original, they are always used and appreciated, and particularly good when you have a full office full of clients you want to thank. Also, many companies with gift restrictions will allow baskets. Undoubtedly the most unusual gift I ever gave was a Toto electronic bidet toilet seat. Toto was a client, and we installed the vibrating, self-cleaning, high technology toilet seats in our office (which we affectionately called the electronic ass washing machines). When visiting our office a client always marveled at how much he liked the Toto, so the week before Christmas I made the trek to his office in Denver carrying a twenty pound toilet seat. Getting it through airline security was a bit of an ordeal, and a toilet seat is really not appropriate as a gift for most clients.

The Power of the Apology

Mistakes are unfortunately a part of business.  Sometimes those mistakes are major, and you lose clients as a result.  But other times mistakes can actually be a path to cementing relationships with your customers. 

A couple cases in point.  About five years ago we fired a vendor because they were making continual mistakes. Their data systems and technological innovation were weak, and though we liked their customer service team, we had to move on.  However, the President of the company called me to apologize, and assured me that they were aware of the problem and had a plan to fix it.  Every few months I would get a letter with an update about their progress, and finally a couple years ago they convinced us to give them another try.  We were pleased to find that they did fix the problem, their systems are now terrific, and we have a great working relationship.

A few weeks ago I had a terrible experience with Embarq, my local phone company.  After getting no relief from the customer service agents, I requested a supervisor contact me.  To be honest, I have very low expectations from any phone company, and figured I would never hear from anyone.  Much to my surprise, the supervisor called right away – and kept calling until she got a hold of me.  She had researched my issue, fixed it, and offered a sincere apology, and accordingly my opinion of Embarq has really shot up, and I will continue to use them.

But unfortunately, most companies have not discovered the power of saying sorry and fixing the problem, and instead prefer to let their customers leave angry and dissatisfied.

A customer that takes the time to complain is often a company’s best friend.  They give valuable feedback that ultimately allows an operation to improve their performance.  They open the door to allowing the company to apologize and fix the problem so the relationship can be maintained.  This is highly preferable to the dissatisfied customer that just moves on without a word.

My company, like every other company, makes mistakes.  And part of my job is apologizing to clients – not only to maintain the relationship – but to also get input as to how we can be better.  Certainly there is a percentage of customers that are true Whiners, and probably don’t deserve an apology, but in most cases I find they raise very legitimate points about how we could service their needs better.  A heartfelt apology is an essential business tool, that is needed now more than any other time.

The Problem with Pleasers

One of the most difficult personality types to manage in the workplace is The Pleaser.This is primarily because in almost every way, The Pleaser is a consistently terrific person to be around and a great asset to the organization.Upbeat, pleasant, and anxious to please all around them, they can often be the social soul of a company, it’s greatest cheerleader, and the “go to” person you turn to when the chips are down and you really need something done.Clients typically love having a Pleaser take care of them, as they are completely dedicated to customer service, and won’t stop until their clients are fully content. Management knows that The Pleaser is a terrific brand enhancement for the organization, and Pleasers always go over and above the call of duty when needed.

So, why wouldn’t a company prefer to be completely filled with Pleasers? Well, the very aspects of their personality that make them so terrific can also place a drain on the organization. Pleasers want to be liked, and frequently place that goal above the necessary financial parameters a company must operate within. Pleasers frequently go so far in servicing a client that the company loses money.  Pleasers hate to ask for money, and would prefer to expend enormous amounts of time making clients happy as opposed to asking for fair payment for their services. They can be easily manipulated by a client that wants more service than they are willing to pay for.

Pleasers in management can also be very problematic. In their desire to be liked, they tend to be so empathetic towards their employees that they allow mediocrity or downright incompetence to flourish. They don’t want to do the often hard management job of holding people accountable because it would decrease their likability.

So, it falls to upper management to channel a Pleaser’s best attributes, and control the downside of their personality. They need to be counseled and monitored to make sure they are billing adequately for their services. If done properly, this can also provide an ego boost for them, as their manager explains just what a terrific job they are doing and why the company needs to be compensated for their good work. Creating a good balance between the Pleaser’s desire to service the client – and their desire to best serve the company is essential. Pleasers in management require the same kind of counseling to assure they are placing reasonable standards on their employees, so they place the good of the organization above their own desire to be liked.  And when these practices are put into place, a Pleaser can be a huge asset to any company.

Managing Your Ego

One of the consistent issues intertwined throughout the world of Warriors, Workers, Whiners, and Weasels is ego management. This is a tough one. Warriors must be filled with self-confidence and have hefty egos, but if they grow too large or unrealistic they may go the way of the Weasel. Workers who have the talent and tools and aspire to be Warriors may need a bit of an ego infusion, or they could achieve a higher degree of happiness if they just loved themselves as much as they deserve to be loved. Whiners typically suffer from low self-esteem; if they could capture the necessary self- confidence—and perhaps love themselves a bit more—they would be happier and live life as a Worker or Warrior. Loving yourself just enough for the right reasons, but not too much becomes the key.

In many ways, people can be classified by the state of their ego at any given time, and usually, as someone progresses through life and experiences failures and successes, they gain maturity and their ego naturally progresses and refines to an acceptable level that suits them well. Possessing the ability to assess and control your own self-confidence level, and the impact of it on those around you, is a valuable tool.

Own Your Insecurities

I personally find that forcing yourself into a public setting is a great way to gain self-confidence. The “fear of being in the spotlight” tends to be at the root of most people’s insecurities, and a good first step is to practice the art of speaking in front of a crowd. Almost every city has a Toastmasters or similar organization that can offer valuable experience. Many social organizations have structures that allow for terrific training by presenting to groups. If progressing in your work environment necessitates making presentations, I would encourage discussing your fears with your boss and asking for opportunities to work through them, perhaps doing presentations to less-intimidating groups of coworkers before working your way up. The only way to conquer your insecurities is to confront them.

And the fact is that you own your insecurities, and it is up to you to learn to deal with them. Unfortunately, it is easy to let insecurities rule your life and then, when you don’t achieve your dreams, start whining about injustice.