Warriors & Weasels Blog

How Not To Get The Job

I am constantly surprised when I see job applicants make the same silly mistakes that immediately eliminate them as candidates for a position. Certainly a job interview is a very stressful experience, but a little preparation, self-control, and awareness of how you are appearing to the interviewer can eliminate angst and assure you get the job. Here are a few common mistakes that will assure you don’t:

• Misspell my name – or the company name on the cover letter that you send with your resume. That one goes right in the round file (and you’d be surprised how often it happens).

• Don’t bother to take the time to find out who is in charge of hiring – just send your resume to the “info” address on the website made out to “To Whom It May Concern”. It gets filed with the above resume.

• Don’t do any research on the company, or have any idea who’s interviewing you. A few weeks ago a job candidate began the interview with the question “so, what do you guys do here?” If you want me to spend an hour interviewing you, make sure you know all about the company and all about me. I do not have time to conduct tours and I am not a career counselor.

• Dress like you are attending a barbecue at Billy Bob Thorton’s house. How you dress is a reflection of your respect for the interviewer and the company. Rule of thumb – unless you are wearing black tie to a Starbucks interview, you aren’t overdressed. Serious applicants dress appropriately.

• Say things like “I’m looking for a new job because I’m tired of making my current employer rich”. I have heard this one dozens of times, and my immediate reaction is to write a big “NO” across the resume. If you are so talented that you make your company wealthy, then be proud, not resentful. Ultimately that is your job, and it means you are doing your job really well! As a potential employer, I don’t want to hear that it upsets you to do a great job. I want people to make me wealthy! And if you are a Warrior, do a great job and just make sure you negotiate a decent piece of the profits for yourself. Make it a win / win and everyone will be happy.

• Criticize your past / previous employer. I hear it all the time. You work for an arrogant, crazy, cheap, abusive, stupid, sexist, lazy, red-necked employer that is too old, too young, unsophisticated, uncaring…etc. If you criticize your ex-employer, I assume someday you will be criticizing me (and unfortunately, all the above adjectives could be used to describe me).

• List a salary requirement 300% higher than what you would accept. One of the quickest ways to get eliminated from a position is to artificially inflate your real desired range in the hope that you “hit a home run”. Sure – it might rarely happen, but in most cases you will be eliminated from the race before you even have a chance to make your case.

Tuning Up Your Personal Brand

This week Sears reported more troubles, and the CEO announced a plan of action to hopefully renew the chain to its former glory. During the holidays I visited a Sears store for the first time in several years, and I was shocked to see how far the legendary retailer had fallen. 

My first real job was working for Sears, so I have a bit of a soft spot for them.  In the 70’s when I was an employee, Sears was a powerhouse.  The stores were squeaky clean, well-stocked with the latest merchandise, and the sales associates were professionals; well-trained and versed in their product lines.  But the Sears I visited a few weeks ago was a mess; a dirty, disorganized, and smelly store that looked more like a third-world discount warehouse than one of America’s greatest retailers.

Certainly Sears has faced unprecedented competition and pressure from all kinds of sources, but it is also a lesson in how fast and far a brand can fall.  And just like Sears, I am often reminded of how fast individuals can allow their personal brands to falter in the workplace.   It is easy to let little things slide, without realizing the combined impact it has on how you are projecting yourself.  A couple common examples of “personal brand erosion” I often see in the workplace:

• Lazy e mails.  There was a time when it was acceptable to use a kind of “email shorthand” – but given the fact that e mails are now our primary business communication tool, and considering the easy access of spell and grammar check, it is a bad idea to send out e mails that appear to have been written by someone for whom English is a third language. Yesterday I received an e mail from a realtor soliciting my business.  It was so riddled with misspellings and grammatical errors that I had to read it several times to figure out what he was saying.  But unfortunately the real message he unwittingly sent was “I am unprofessional – don’t deal with me”.   I often receive e mails from employees with the same kind of issues.  If the e mail I receive from the former secretary to the Prime Minister of Nairobi promising me ten million dollars is better written than the one I receive from you – we have a problem. Another hint – unless your name is e.e. cummings you should use upper case occasionally.  Your e mail is often the only representation of “you” that people see – so use the tool accordingly.
• Giving up in the battle for personal hygiene.  Working at a company is not like moving into a dorm. Once you have the job you are not supposed to get all “comfy”, and show up for work in your tattered pajamas and bunny slippers.  OK – I am exaggerating.  I have never had anyone show up for work in bunny slippers.  But, I frequently see employees take definite downward slides in the appearance department.  Certainly every work environment has a different dress code – but I know of few companies where unwashed and sloppy is the desired appearance.  My advice to employees is dress with pride – and in a manner that best fits the company culture.  And you shouldn’t fear “overdressing” – especially where clients are concerned.  Dressing professionally shows honor to your clients – even if their work culture is much less formal.  Your dress and hygiene is your first indication to most people of your personal brand.  Are you professional? Creative? Buttoned-up? Or are you wearing yesterday’s lunch on the front of your shirt?

A Little Less Fear And Loathing

Next month, for my 15th consecutive year, I will trek to Las Vegas for the direct response television industry’s annual gala, the Electronic Retailing Association convention. I attended my first ERA convention when the organization was in its infancy and called National Infomercial Marketer’s Association. Because the word “infomercial” conjures visions of screaming, steroid-pumped fitness gurus and badly coifed, get-rich-quick pitchmen sitting around pools, the board wisely changed the name. In the early days of NIMA, a couple hundred people would gather in Vegas to argue about juicers, ab-machines and the rising cost of media time. ERA has grown rapidly in size and sophistication, and thousands from around the world now attend. While they still discuss the above, the convention has become a good resource to meet DRTV’s players and service providers.

I have a love/hate relationship with the show, frequently vowing not to go and changing my mind at the last minute. This may have something to do with the location. Though I am pleased to see Vegas abandon ill-advised marketing toward families and return to its seedy, wonderful roots of gambling, nudity and excessive alcohol consumption, I have grown more sedate and don’t enjoy these activities as much as I once did.

Clients often express interest in attending, which I discourage. Though it has interesting vendors and good educational opportunities, it can be bizarre for someone unaccustomed to DRTV culture. Wild-eyed inventors stop you in the hall, begging to rub your leg with a solar-powered, cellulite-reducing wand or encouraging you to drink brown liquid from a filthy coffee mug that they claim will reduce the size of your prostate.

A craziness seems to infect all who attend. Competitive agencies are unabashed about trying to steal clients; they stop me in the hall to pitch my client in front of me. A decade ago I boarded an elevator with a Fortune 100 client when a well-known television pitchman saw his name tag, cornered him and began poking him in the chest, yelling “Stay out of the DRTV business!” For years, a strangely muscular old man known as Doc roamed the convention halls surrounded by buxom girls in bikinis. Clad in a skin-tight leotard like an elderly but fit Richard Simmons, Doc’s goal was to be discovered as the next Jack LaLanne. Jowly, sad celebrities last seen sailing The Love Boat hang out in the cocktail lounges, soliciting gigs as infomercial hosts.

Perhaps the freakiest and best experience is the awards ceremony. Most ad competitions stress creative execution, but the ERA awards tend to honor campaigns that succeeded financially. Winners can run the gamut from “awful but worked” to truly inspired.

Years ago I had two major clients attending the awards, both with campaigns nominated in the Best Corporate DRTV category. The host showed beautiful clips from the spots as my clients smiled, but their expressions turned to confusion as the final nominee’s entry was shown. Their competition was a spot for a new kitty litter box, and the screens around the room were filled with images of cats defecating on a tiny conveyer belt, the innovative system whisking away the offal into hidden poop containers. To my dismay, one of my clients tied with the kitty litter box. But in defense of kitty hygiene, I am told the box sold millions.

I am excited that this year’s awards ceremony features the musical styling’s of one of my favorite infomercial hosts, Esteban. He became famous on HSN and infomercials selling his guitar course.

DRTV has made enormous gains in popularity and acceptance the past few years, and every year the convention tends to reflect this. I suspect this year I am more likely to see major corporate executives roaming the halls than characters like Doc. While I applaud this professionalism, somehow I think an ERA convention without a few crazy inventors would seem lacking. Most of the products we buy originally came from the minds of slightly eccentric entrepreneurs with a vision, and I would miss their energy.

The "Please Fire Me" Worker

Adam Mcfarland, a fellow blogger and entrepreneur recently blogged about what he calls the, "Please Fire Me" worker. Adam describes this type of worker as the employee who does only the amount of work necessary to avoid being fired; this particular behavior commonly occurs right before a employee intends to leave the organization.

Interesting Phenomenon Adam!

Ruminations from an ex-procrastinator

I was a terrible procrastinator during my school years. When studying those subjects for which I felt little love or confidence in my ability to master, I justified putting off studying until the last possible minute. At the time, I didn’t realize the implications of this procrastination. I was a mediocre student in those subjects I avoided studying, which dragged down my otherwise strong GPA, which made getting into some of my choice colleges impossible.

As a result, I did not meet and befriend Bill Gates at Harvard. Accordingly, the two of us did not form a partnership to develop a computer operating system far superior to anything ever introduced. We did not start Microsoft, and I did not become one of the richest men in the world. This prevented me from establishing the O’Leary Charitable Trust with a billion-dollar donation, which would have funded a cure for AIDS, and saved millions of lives, for which I would have been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. And all because I put off studying algebra!

Okay, that example might be a bit of a stretch. But although I am certainly not complaining about how things turned out, my early procrastination did create limitations to overcome later in life. In retrospect, I wish that I had applied a little extra effort to certain academic pursuits that would have opened up new worlds to me. Perhaps I still would have chosen the path I did, but I always like to have every possible option open to me. Occasionally, monitoring your own “procrastinating habits” is a valuable exercise. If putting things off a little is a valid form of relaxation for you, and there is no longer-term price to pay, then it should probably not be of concern. However, if your procrastination is causing you trouble in your life now, it will probably only get worse, and it should be addressed. Given the fact that time is limited for all of us, we all have to choose the most efficient use of our time, but I am often confronted with relatives, employees, and friends who allow their own procrastination to rule their lives.

Of course, some would say procrastination is simply a more charitable term for laziness, which is sometimes the case, but many of the procrastinators I know are not necessarily lazy individuals. In fact, putting off the inevitable often just creates more work for them, which they end up doing anyway. And sometimes, the roots of your procrastination need to be examined, as they might reveal some other issue that needs to be addressed.

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